The Smoothie Kiss
by BeautyQueen10
Summary: A story told by Freddie - how he battles between his everlasting love for Sam and his affections for Carly.  It's a battle of Seddie and Creddie, and each girl are crazy to win! What other obstacles will turn up for Sam and Freddie's relationship?
1. Chapter 1: iLove Sam

THE SMOOTHIE KISS

I looked at myself in the mirror. How crazy had I been? I'd kept my feelings cooped up inside me, and I didn't even realize how much I wanted Sam. I'd wasted my time for years on the shimmering brunette, Carly, when all along her best friend looked upon me with eyes that showed Love and Hate. I only saw the Hate. It was so hard to find the Love. But it'd been there, all along. It was impossible for me not to want Sam. Not to want her blonde ringlets drifting over my fingers, not to want her tough-talking mouth over mine. But now I'd admitted my feelings, and so had she. I had kissed her, and she tasted of salted peanuts and mental hospitals and helplessness. I was looking forward to seeing her again. We weren't dating. Not yet. But I had plans to change that.

I put on my coolest clothes, which are a Penny Tee on top of a black top and jeans. I checked myself in the mirror and combed my hair. I looked OK. I glared at my mirror for ages, until a feisty rapping came on the door. "Hey, Freddie!" it was Carly's voice. "C'mon, it's iCarly!"

I ran out and into Carly's apartment, ruffling my hair on the way. I jumped up the stairs and got to my laptop on the third floor. Sam was sat on the car, her back to me. She was knocking back water as if she'd spent her life in a desert. "Do I look OK, Carls?" asked Sam, not realizing I was here. "Yeah. C'mon Freddie, start up the countdown," Carly laughed. Sam's cheeks flushed as she put the lid back on the bottle. "In five, four, three, two . . ."

"I'm Carly!" grinned Carly, tossing her hair. "I'm Sam!" giggled Sam softly, not quite as perky as normal. Carly smiled at her and then at me. My cheeks fumed. "And this is iCarly!"

Even as Carly began to talk, I found my camera zooming into Sam. It was obsessive. I zoomed in on her eye until it was massive. Hastily, I zoomed back out. "Freddie, what's up?" Carly asked, noticing my frown. "Nothing," I chuckled as Gibby jumped into a bath full of sushi. "Is it salmon or cod?" demanded Sam to Gibby. Gibby looked up at the camera, grinning. "Salmon and cod mix," he said coolly, nodding.

After iCarly, Carly went downstairs to get us some blue tea. Awkward silence filled the room. "Hi, Freddie," Sam said, glancing at me. "Sam . . ." I smiled at her, clasped her hand. She blushed. "Freddie." She grabbed my other hand and edged closer to me shyly. She looked so meek that I went in for the kiss myself, touching her shoulders. She didn't pull back. She tasted of angst and smoothies. I broke away. "Sam, you need to tell me everything now," I told her. She frowned. "What d'you mean?" she asked, retrieving her arms. "I don't get it." "How you've been feeling. Since forever," I shrugged, almost embarrassed. We both sunk onto beanbags. "Well," Sam sighed. "I guess. I've always sort of . . . liked you. And I got jealous of Carly a lot," she hid behind her hair. "I guess she was lucky. I was irritated that you loved her so much, and that's why I put you down. I guess I've been lonely. At the Girl's Choice Dance I thought she'd get around to asking you, that's why I did that contest. And then at the Groovy Smoothie . . ." a lump rippled over her throat and I almost saw a tear in her eye. "I walked in. Gibby had just rejected me, of all people. So I went in, and I hoped for a night with two best friends. But you were dancing. Like, lovingly. Carly had her head on your shoulder and you looked like you were going to kiss. I didn't want to cry or get mad, so I left. I guess I'm just a green-eyed monster." She hid her face in her hands. "I'm stupid."

"You saw that?" I asked, feeling anxious now. My romantic moment with Carly, and the girl I adored had witnessed it with her own eyes. "Look, Sam. I . . . I like you." Sam looked up at me. "Really?" she whispered softly, rivers dithering in her eyes. "Just shut up and kiss me," I laughed. She closed her eyes and pressed her face to mine. Salty tears slid over her face onto mine and we kissed again. I felt her hair over my fingertips, her tears on my cheeks. I was aware of the person I was kissing. Her tough-cookie exterior leaked out through her lips and she softened like a cloud. Blueberry Blitz smoothie lingered over her lips and her entire life passed through her like a train. She tasted of Sam, and I liked that. I leant over her and we kissed for a while. Finally, she broke away and told me she had to go to Teen Therapy in twenty minutes. "Teen Therapy?" I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, y'know I've got problems," Sam chuckled, looking chilled. Then she grabbed my collar and held her fist at my cheek. "Kiss me or I'll murder you!" she laughed, letting go and walking away.

**Freddie Benson's MSN Status: **_Seddie!_

**You are chatting with Sam Puckett**

Sam Puckett: Sup, Fredward.

Freddie Benson: Hi.

Sam Puckett: I'd kiss you but I can't. We're on the internet.

Freddie Benson: So - are you my gf now?

Sam Puckett: Sam Puckett is a single lady.

Freddie Benson: Oh. Right.

Sam Puckett: I'm no-one's gf. Soz.

Freddie Benson: You're joking, right? I mean – we kissed. Many a time.

Sam Puckett: *laughs* I am aware! Look, Freddie – I think I love you. But I don't want to be you're little girlfriend.

Freddie Benson: Why?

Sam Puckett: You don't know mama at all. Girlfriend is so degrading. I mean – it's like guys are the boss.

Freddie Benson: You've damaged me loads!

Sam Puckett: Giggle. Freddie, I wanna be with you.

Freddie Benson: Then go out with me!

Sam Puckett: Of course. Fine, I'll be your gf. But no prissy dresses will I wear!

Freddie Benson: Gotta go.

Sam Puckett: Tick bath?

Freddie Benson: *groans* NO!

"C'mon Freddie, tick bath time," Mum said, her eyes wide as usual. "Who were you chatting with?" "No one!" I lied, snapping my laptop shut. Mum raised her brows. "Have you been buying weights again?" Mum said sternly, shoving me out of the way and opening the laptop. Her laser-beam eyes skimmed over my entire chat. "Sam Puckett!" she gasped. "You're her boyfriend? You – you've kissed her?" "Aw, Mum, don't freak out," I groaned, pushing my hair out of my eyes. "You get in that tick bath right now, Mr!" Mum said, pushing me through the door. I struggled and shut the door on her, locking it. Why was my Mum such a pain? I dug in my pocket to find my phone.

From: **Sam**

_Meet me at g smoothie in 2._

To: **Sam**

_KK. If i don't mak it don't blame me..._

From: **Sam**

_Yr mum, rite?_

To: **Sam**

_Wel gesd, pucket. _

I slid my phone into my pocket, ruffled my hair desperately and opened the bathroom window. I groaned. I was at least five stories in the air, so I couldn't swing out onto the ground safely. I hung out of the window, looking for a place to get out. Nothing. I shut the window and opened the bathroom door. Mum was never going to let me go off on a date with Sam. "Freddie, where are you going?" Mum asked, worriedly hurrying up to me in a floaty top and oven-mitts. I searched for a good lie, a firm one. "I'm going to Carly's to make the iCarly TV swing out faster," I bluffed. "Oh no you're not! You haven't had a tick bath yet," Mum burbled. "I had one this morning," I sighed. "Please?" Mum nodded, rolling her eyes and watching me through the peephole as I walked into Carly's apartment.

Carly was sat at her table, sipping some blue tea and typing on her computer. She was writing an iCarly blog called: _Random Debate: Lip-gloss or Amethyst Heart Pendant? _"Hey, Carly," I called. "Hey, Freddie," she grinned, spinning round in her chair. "What you here for?" "Erm, I got a date with Sam," I said awkwardly. "My Mum won't let me go, so I lied and said I was going to yours."

Carly smiled. "KK. Hey, listen to this!" Carly flicked on her music player and soft, slow-dance music leaked out. "Nice," I grinned, swaying. Carly giggled. "I know, right?" She smiled softly. "Wanna dance?" "I don't know. I've gotta get to Sam soon," I shrugged. Carly laughed and grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to hold her tiny waist. She rested her head on my shoulders. I smiled thinly at my FRIEND. But she lifted her head up and kissed my lips! I let her go, backing away. "Carly!" I gasped. She looked shocked as she flicked off her music."What?" she asked. "I gotta go," I frowned, curling my lip. She grabbed my hand. "Freddie, what's wrong? I kissed you," Carly sighed. I dragged my hand away and swung open the door. "Nothing's wrong, Carly. But I'm with Sam." Carly looked hurt and softly angry. "Well, your loss," she said matter-of-factly. I raised my eyebrows and began to walk away. I heard a desperate gasp fly from her lips as she grabbed my arm. I swung round. "Freddie, I'm so sorry," she spluttered. My heart squeezed pitifully. She had tears brewing in her big dark eyes. "I – I don't love you. I just – kind of – I'm stupid. It's just, you've always liked me and now it's changed. I don't get it. I don't like it. You were sort of reassuring." "Carly, I've never liked you that way," I told her. "It's always been Sam. I was hiding my feelings." "That's not nice, because a) it almost got my hopes up and b) you made Sam doubt you! How dare you!" Carly said angrily. "Sam doesn't deserve _you_." She said my name with spitting scorn. And suddenly tears collapsed unwillingly out of her eyes, ambling over her face, unwanted. "I do."

She grabbed the back of my neck and lurched forward, her eyes squeezed tight. I dragged myself away. "You're the one who needs to go to the mental hospital!" I yelled, spinning around and slamming out of the apartment. I ran to the Groovy Smoothie angrily. Sam was there, her feet perched on a table. T-Bo was half trying to sell her impaled pickles and half assaulting her with words because of her feet on the table. "Hey, Sam," I raised a hand. She grinned, biting her lip and gathering her feet. "Hey, BBF," Sam giggled, rolling the initials over her tongue. The words tumbled out like a magic spell, a promise. I leant forward and kissed her. The smoothie lips met mine again, and it was magical. More magic than the initials BBF or even BGF.

"Stop! Stop, stop, just stop it!"

We broke apart. The door flew open and Carly stepped inside, her eyes ablaze like roaring fires. "Hey, Puckett? Get out."


	2. Chapter 2: iAm Confused

THE SMOOTHIE KISS

My mouth opened huger than a tunnel. Carly's face looked stricken, tear-stained, her glossed lips wobbling. "Carls?" Sam asked, standing up worriedly. "What's wrong?" She took a step closer to her best friend. Carly looked through Sam like she didn't exist, her eyes locking onto mine. "Freddie, please," she said, her voice wobbling as she slid into the seat next to me. Her pearly hand found mine, her eyes huge and pleading. "Freddie?" Sam looked confused. "Shut up, Puckett, and get out!" Carly snapped. She looked terrible, as if her sudden crazed affections for me had damaged her. Her hair was all split-ends, and straighter than a ruler, about as lifeless as the first computer ever made. "You can't tell me what to do, Carls, you know it," Sam flopped in the third chair. "What's wrong? You look awful." "Don't tell me what I look like, Sam! You're OK, with your princess curls and – and your big blue eyes and nice skin! I'm just a dark old witch!" rasped Carly. Sam looked affected. "Cool it," Sam breathed out. "I need pork. Meet you in an hour at the Cheesecake Warehouse, K?" "OK. I'll pay," I grinned. A devilish smile sprung over Sam's face. "How you gonna do that?" she giggled, a teasing tone dithering in her voice. I frowned. "With my wallet," I felt inside my pocket. It was gone! Sam raised her eyebrows and grinned laughingly. "Mamma's got feather fingers," she chuckled, throwing my wallet in the air and catching it. "Catch, Fred-head." She chucked it to me and then flounced off, digging in her pocket for her ham-pink iPod and tucking the pig's-head-shaped ear buds into her ears, then swaying her head to the Cuttlefish.

"What's up with you, Carly?" I wanted to know. Carly sipped some of Sam's smoothie, a tear spilling and dropping through the straw. "Ew," she said. Suddenly, Sam bounced into the Groovy Smoothie, kissed my head and grabbed her smoothie, before ruffling Carly's hair. "I love you, Freddie!" Carly hissed, clawing at my hand. It felt almost reassuring, her cold white hand wrapped over mine. "And you like me," Carly looked at our hands, smiling her glossy smile. "I just know it." "How so?" I grinned jokily, letting her hands hold mine as friends. "If you hated me, why would you squeeze my hand so hard you're going to make ridges all over my palms?" giggled Carly. "And why would your eyes soften at the sight of me?" "Carls, I love Sam," I shrugged. Carly laughed, tossing her hair and pressing a finger to her lips. "Yeah," she nodded. "Right." She lugged me out of the Groovy Smoothie, dragging me through an alleyway. "It's OK, now, Freddie. No-one's watching. You can tell me about your rocking affections," Carly smiled. "Or . . . we could just kiss." She leaned forward, pressing me against the wall. Her hands traced my cheekbones as she kissed me, and she tasted of blue tea and pina colada lip-gloss. We kissed, although I struggled. I was in love with SAM, not Carly.

We broke apart. "Carly, I'm with Sam!" I gasped angrily. "I know. It's a tragedy, right?" Carly chuckled, her cheeks smile, her whole face alight. "Just break up with her. It's OK. You know I'll always be here." She smiled softly, a smile that tore through me, shuddered my heart, made me melt into chocolate. A smile that almost reassured me.

"I don't love you," I said. But, somehow, the words felt sourer than sherbet lemons on my tongue. I didn't know who I loved. Tears span in Carly's deep, dark eyes. "S-stop lying," she whispered as each sob tore through her. "I'm telling the truth!" But even I was so sure. I peered into Carly's eyes and almost saw what she was thinking. I saw thirteen-year-old-me, with a tray full of juice and a bagel, peachy-keen for her attention. My eyes bright as a hamster's, glowing like a star. Was I eager-to-please her, or was I secretly trying to corner Sam's attention? I wasn't sure. "I gotta go." "Why?" Carly begged to know, looking like a favourite top that came out grey in the wash. I used the excuse I'd never use, unless of emergency. "Tick bath."

When I got home, my phone was chock-a-block full of texts.

From: **Carly**

From: **Carly**

From: **Carly**

From:** Carly**

From: **Sam xx**

I switched off my phone and slid it into its 'Safety Case' that Mum had hired 'Special Men' to make. My feelings whirled inside me like a snowstorm, harsh and hurting my heart. I pictured Sam's beautiful face in my head, her big blue eyes, her angelic curls, her beautiful kissing lips and her clenched fist ready to drive into someone's face. I smiled. Then I saw Carly's face, a chubby-cheeked oval of beauty, with full, pink lips that tasted of gloss and her shimmering waterfall of hair. I groaned. Rolling onto my side, I grabbed my laptop and logged onto MSN.

**Freddie Benson's MSN Status: **_Argh!_

**You are chatting with Sam Puckett**

Sam Puckett: Dude! You were supposed to meet me at the Cheesecake Warehouse.

Freddie Benson: Sam, I'm having a rough time.

Sam Puckett: Tell me about it, then. I AM your gf.

Freddie Benson: I can't.

Sam Puckett: What? :(

Freddie Benson: Love you, Sam.

Sam Puckett: Love you too. Idiot.

Freddie Benson: *smiles*. Gotta go.

Sam Puckett: NO MORE TICK BATHS! iCarly rehearsal starts soon :P

Freddie Benson: No, no tick baths. I'll be at the iCarly Studio.

I glared at the screen, before snapping my laptop shut and making my way to Carly's apartment. I opened the amber-coloured door and stepped inside, holding my breath. Gummy bears greeted me, as well as a TV and Pearbook. It was so quiet, apart from the soft Cuttlefish music drumming out of the computer, which was logged onto YouTube. The door behind me swung open and Sam burst inside, almost turning a black-and-white room to Technicolor. "Yo, BBF," grinned Sam carelessly, swinging her arms round my neck and leaning up to kiss me. This kiss was strange. Different. The smoothies and fat-cakes still lingered on her lips, and yes her mean-talking lips had softened into jelly – but the way she kissed me was different. The tough-cookie exterior didn't leak away, and her life and feelings didn't flow through her lips. She remained harder than stone, sour as limes, cold as the brisk, sharp as broken glass. I wondered why as we broke apart. She inhaled, and grabbed my hand. "Freddie," she whispered. "I love you. I really, really do." And at that moment, Carly evaporated from my mind and all I could think of was Sam. A smile broke away the burden of my affections for Carly Shay, and I fell in love with a pig-lovin', Freddie-lovin' girl. We walked up the stairs, fingers tangled. Carly's back was to us as she sat, slouched on a bean-bag. As the door jittered shut, she shivered and rose. "Sam," she said, quaking. "Sam, we need to talk." She turned around, her face a thunderstorm. Her nose wrinkled in disgust, her lip curled, her expression filled with hate and spite. Her chocolate eyes flashed a menacing green, her whole face contorted with jealousy. She strode up to us. Sam's fingers slipped out of mine like they were covered in soap – she looked scared.

"Carls?" she took a step back. Carly's lip wobbled as if she was going to say something, but then she squeezed her mouth together. "I want Freddie," Carly said quietly, as if the words pained her. Sam's lip tightened. "You can't have him," she whispered, and grabbed Carly's shoulders, shuddering her. "Carls! What's with you? You need to take a hot bath or something!" Sam said. "No, you do!" shrieked Carly. "You need to drown in it! Just go ahead, do us all a favour!" "Carly, stop it!" I yelled. Carly ignored me, as if my skin had suddenly shone transparent, my whole body glowed see-through like glass. Carly's shoulders shook, her fists clenched and then . . .

"Please, I just want Freddie!" she wailed. Fat, salty tears ambled across her face and she looked a mess. "Carls," Sam enveloped her in a hug of friendship. I joined in, but Carly threw us both of. "No! No, I want FREDDIE!" she shrieked angrily. Her eyes shadowed, her cheeks turned pink and her arm shot out. I tried to shove Sam out of the way, but Carly's bone-white fist had already crashed into her cheek. Sam looked shell-shocked as she backed away. Her fingers traced over her cheeks as if she couldn't quite believe it. She gazed at her blood-covered fingers and winced as each blood droplet meandered down her face. "No-one," Sam whispered huskily. "_No-one _messes with mama!" She threw her arm over her shoulder and flickered her elbow across Carly's face. "Girls, stop it!" I shrieked, but my voice couldn't be heard over their raging thoughts. Desperation rocked through me as Carly grabbed Sam's hair and yanked. Sam yelped in pain, but flipped in the air like a ninja and kicked Carly.

This was totally weird. I knew Sam's fighting skills, but Carly was like a new girl.

I jumped in the middle, separated the warring girls. "You crazies!" I yelled. Each had red faces, wet red faces. "I don't want to date either of you like this!" I said, irritated. "Freddie, please. I love you," Sam whispered, tears streaming down her face. I couldn't help it. Even as Carly watched, I cradled Sam's face in my hands and kissed her. It was short but sweet, and then we hugged. We broke away, and I felt like we were being torn apart. No matter how much I loved Sam, I didn't want this. "I don't need this. It's over."

I ran my fingers through my hair, picked up my camera, turned deaf to any of the girl's complaints and started to rehearse iCarly.

_Next chapter for Creddie fans! _


	3. Chapter 3: iNeed Sam

THE SMOOTHIE KISS

When I woke up, I squeezed my eyes shut and wanted to stay in bed. My mouth felt sour with regret. Why was I so stupid? I had finished my relationship with Sam, and now my heart was black with regret. I could become an emo, for all it was worth. I wanted Sam. I wanted Carly dead, for doing this to me. I felt salty and sour inside, and as I felt my lashes I noticed the burning sleep-tears on my eyelids. Gruffly, I got up and changed, before eating Mum's Cold Ointment and putting on the most babyish ointment around. Don't think it's possible? Think again. My ointment was a cotton-candy pink with plump pigs all over it. It was called: 'Ollie's Oinky Ointment'. Hmm.

I set off to school, disappointed that Carly wanted me to walk with her. "Hi, Carly," I greeted her brightly, but in my head I imagined my fist crashing into her delicate face. I smirked. "Freddie, I really think I deserve you," Carly told me, tossing her shiny her out of her eyes. "Sam's always treated you like dirt, so . . . well, I think you should forget about her." "Sam and I would still be together if it wasn't for you," I said each stinging word calmly, considerately, and through gritted teeth. "No you wouldn't. It wouldn't last, I know it," Carly shook her head, grabbed my hand. I pulled away instantly, as if acid sizzled over her palms. "Freddie!" Carly looked offended and shocked as she pulled me out of the building. "Stop acting hard-to-get. You love me!" her eyes filled with hope that disgusted me. She started kissing me then, her hands trying to force my arms around her neck. I remained cold, still as a statue. When Carly finally gave up, dragged herself away, she glared at me. "Stop it!" she moaned. A tear spat down her face, so fast I couldn't tell if it was really or not.

"No!" I said angrily. "No! I won't! You stop it! Just stop interfering!" I yelled, my voice soaring up, high into the clouds so that even angels and ghosts had to plug their ears. Carly looked shell-shocked, her eyes about as wide as my Mum's, her pink lips open slightly. "F-Freddie . . ." She looked like a three-year-old spoilt brat who had been yelled at for the first time in her life. I growled like a dog. "Just – just get lost, Carly," I snarled. "I love Sam. Get it into your head."

I spun around, turned away, and made my way to Ridgeway with a whirling mind and a nervous churn to my stomach. I needed to see Sam. Otherwise, I'd either become an emo or burst into flames. I wanted to kiss her again, I wanted to feel her life flow through her, and I wanted to be her boyfriend. I wanted her to hit me, damage me, call me names . . . I just wanted Sam. I closed my eyes in case unwanted tears dared to swim out of my eyes. Before I could open them, someone kissed me. Carly? But no greasy gloss lingered on this girl's lips, no blue tea or glamorous prissiness. I tasted ham. And with the pork flavour came my favourite ever flavour – Sam flavour. I opened my eyes as we broke away. "Sam!" I gasped. "Please. I'm so sorry. I don't want to break up!" Sam's eyes remained closed as she began to smile. "Love you too, Fred-head."

I basically blanked Carly the rest of the day. It was as if she was now covered in Harry Potter's invisible cloak. I was glad of that; I wished she could stay invisible forever. But you could cut the tension between Sam and Carly with a knife! Or maybe the tension was too thick, too heavy, to steely cold to even cut with a knife. Maybe with a chainsaw?

"Miss Briggs, could I please move seats?" Carly wanted to know, glaring at Sam. Sam narrowed her eyes back. "No," Miss Briggs replied simply, tucking a strand of straggly red hair behind her ear. Carly looked irritated. As lessons began, you could hear Carly and Sam squabbling. "You don't deserve him, Puckett!" Carly said through her teeth. "Look, Carls," Sam replied coolly. "I don't want us to fight over this, but . . .you have everything. A nice bedroom, a guardian who doesn't post pictures of themselves in too-tight bikinis, a cool phone, no criminal record. Can't I just have one nice thing?" Carly looked angry. She groped around her mind for the right thing to say, a good come-back. In the end, she came out with: "You _had _a nice best friend! Once! But look who went and lost it?" "Girls, please. No more arguing. Sheesh," I groaned, still scribbling out my sixty Scottish sayings. Miss Briggs was obsessed with Scotland. "You can't tell me what to do, you know it," Sam smiled at me fondly. She put on a mean-girl joke-face, and rasped: "If you do, I might just do a double fist-dance on your face!" Carly glared at the affection between Sam and I like it had strangled a kitten with its bare hands.

"You let her treat you like that?" Carly asked. "I bet she kisses like an axe-murderer too." "And what do you kiss like, Princess Priss?" growled Sam, getting slightly edgy. "Exactly that. A princess," Carly said with a graceful air. "And at least I don't taste of pigs and out-of-date Wahoo Punch. Oh, c'mon Sam, that's all you ever eat – how can you taste like anything else" "You'd better shut those painted lips right now, or my knuckles my just rip your face off!" threatened Sam. I groaned. Why had Carly got her so roared up?

Like angels singing, the buzzer sounded. I sighed in relief. Before I gathered my things, I grabbed Carly's arm. "Carly."

"What?" she asked.

"I love Sam."


	4. Chapter 4: iLet You Choose

THE SMOOTHIE KISS

A glimmer of arctic ice shot through Carly's eyes. Her lips tightened and her entire face turned hard as stone. "So be it," she said softly. "Love the jerk," She threw Sam a glare. "But," she tossed her hair, "know what you're missing."

"Carly, can't we all just be friends?" I groaned. "I'd hate this to hijack iCarly."

"It's not going to ruin iCarly," Carly said, curling her lip. "But I don't want to be your friend. I've never wanted to be _just _your friend. And I wouldn't be Sam's friend if she was the last person on earth! But we can all act, right?" Carly wrinkled her nose as if Sam was the most futile, disgusting slug that had crawled up onto her black-and-white checkerboard Vans and then flounced off to where Jake Krandle was sitting. He looked surprised; they hadn't talked for ages. But one smile from Carly's glossed-up pout, he was spellbound. "Carly's my best friend. Wish she didn't fancy you," Sam sighed, raking a hand through her wheat-coloured ringlets. Her cornflower-blue eyes skimmed over Carly and Jake and she raised her eyebrows. "But sheesh, she's like a boy-magnet. Honestly!" I looked over at Jake and Carly, and already, they had obviously arranged a date and were looking into each-other's eyes.

I took Sam out into town after school; iCarly didn't start until two hours. "This is awesome!" Sam grinned. "We can go to Glitter Gloss and Build-A-Bra and-"

"Or we could just go to the Groovy Smoothie," I raised my eyebrows.

"Ugh, can't we ever go somewhere else? Hey, how about the cinemas? They have that new film, y'know, Breaking Dawn," Sam said, her eyes shining. I just couldn't say no. So, we held hands and made our way to Schneider's Cinema. We grabbed our tickets and the middle seats on the back row, so things were pretty blissful. "This is SOOO cool," Sam grinned. "The best date ever."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow; Sam had had a dinner on a boat with one boy, and with Jonah she went to a water-park. "Yeah."

Breaking Dawn was cool. I guess. Sort of girly, though. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as Edward uttered those unbelievably cheesy words about foreverness and all that jazz. I grappled Sam's hand and whispered, "Forever." We started spluttering with laughter and the cheesiness of it, and Sam's laughter danced up into the air like a promise, swerving around me and making me smile. Once Breaking Dawn was finished, we grabbed a milkshake each and headed off to Carly's apartment.

When we got in, Carly was there, her face pink as a grapefruit. "Oh my god!" she shrieked.

"What?" Sam wanted to know, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't you guys ever look at the time? iCarly started an hour ago! You guys were too busy caught up in your little love-fest to remember iCarly?"

I was stunned. "iCarly already started?" I asked.

"Yes, yes it did! I had to apologize because my dumb friends decided to bail!" yelled Carly. "Where've you been?"

"Schneider's Cinema," Sam bit her lip.

"Look, cool it, Carly - we can tweet that iCarly's about to start and we can do it anyway," I shrugged. Carly turned and crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry, I've got to go and write a blog about my _thoughtless friends!" _she said angrily, storming upstairs.

"C'mon, I'll walk you home," I sighed, holding onto Sam's wrist. Sam smiled at me and kissed me softly, and all the worries of Carly and iCarly and Creddie and Seddie dissolved, and my mind was filled with Sam, every inch of her angel's face, every strand of her sunrise-gold hair. But it was over too quickly, and we pulled back, blinking. "I'm going to find Carly. I've got to make her _see."_

Sam ran upstairs. I sat down, buried my face in my hands. Groans exploded from my lips like fireworks - only more black and more dull, but just as scary. I heard Sam and Carly chatting, softly, discussing. Carly started to raise her voice, and I wanted to run away, plug my ears, get out of this mess. I sucked in my breath, rose, and exhaled, before marching up those stairs and pushing the door open.

Carly and Sam were sat on the ice cream sandwich bench. "Hey," I rose my hand.

"Sup," Sam replied.

"Hey," Carly smiled thinly. She got up, shaking slightly and neared me, looking tearful and colour-drained. She reached out with a quivering hand and wrapped it round mine, before shaking it rapidly and then retrieving her hand again. "I will always like you," Carly said, her voice wobbling. "But I know that you don't like me that way. I - I guess I've been acting like a spoilt brat. I'm sorry."

"S'OK," I nodded. Carly smeared some of her make-up as she dragged her arm over her face.

"No. No, it's not, I've been behaving like a -" Carly used the words that she hates: "A skunk-bag. I'm sorry. But I do still like you. I think I deserve you. I know I do."

"And so, we've come up with an idea," Sam said regretfully, looking slightly edgy and angry. "We're gonna ask the iCarly fans who they think should date Freddie."

"That's unfair! I want to date Sam!" I said angrily, and Sam nodded pitifully.

"This is fair. They can vote. OK? It might just be one date, but they're gonna decide. It's a great idea," Carly disagreed.

"No! I love Sam!" I objected. Panic fluttered inside me a caged bird; what if they chose Carly? I would hate that. Her kisses, her love, her soft, glossed-up smile - they meant nothing to me.

"Freddie. Just let her," Sam sighed.

"Yo, yo, yo!" grinned Carly, bouncing onscreen, tossing her hair and smiling her shiny grin.

"Sup, sup, sup!" laughed Sam, grinning over the camera at me. I smiled anxiously.

"No, this isn't our normal iCarly time - but we have a poll for you!" Carly grinned. "K. A lot of people think that Sam and Freddie should go out - but some people like Creddie too. Well, I like Freddie."

"I love Freddie!" Sam piped up. "OK, so comment below on who you think should date Freddie. The largest amount of votes will happen! This is your chance to make Seddie happen!"

"Or Creddie," Carly glared at Sam, but then smiled and swung an arm round her shoulder.

"But don't worry! Sam and I will remain BFFs!"

_On the reviews page, vote on who Freddie should date. _


	5. Chapter 5: iAm A Man

THE SMOOTHIE KISS

"Who won?" asked Sam, looking nervous as we skittered down the stairs. Carly glared at her. "I don't know, I haven't looked yet," she tossed her beautiful brown hair and the strawberry scent whirled around the room. A little different to Sam's greasy hair that, despite the muck, always managed to look effortlessly model-ish. Cool people don't have to try.

Carly turned her computer on and tapped onto iCarly. She checked out our comments, counting the remarks in her head. Finally, her pale face fell. "Well done, Sam," she sighed. A tear glimmered in her eye, but it was soon replaced by cold indifference. "That's it, then. I won't complain. I'm not going to, not this time. You're both my friends, but that's all. I don't want to be in the middle of your love-fest, no way. I'll go out with Jake Krandle instead, and Wendy would be a nice best friend." "What d'you mean?" Sam asked. "I'm your best friend." Carly smiled softly, sweet as honey and almost as sickening. "I'm sorry. It'd be too weird," she shook her head, sipped a tall glass of lemonade. "iCarly is still going to happen, obviously. But I might not hang out with you as much. You'd be all loved-up, and I wouldn't like that." Sam nodded, looking brittle as Carly opened the door. Sam ducked her head in shame, her cheeks fuming, and in sadness too. She darted out of the apartment so fast it was a blur. I started to leave, but Carly grabbed my wrist.

"Please, Freddie. Be my friend. I'm letting you date Sam, so be my friend. Friends do things for each-other, so please . . . kiss me one last time," Carly begged. I squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "Friends do everything for each-other, that's true," I nodded. "So please, make it last." Of course, I didn't love Carly, but it would be our last kiss, and I wanted it to last. Because if Carly was going to abandon me, I wanted to hold every little memory dear. I tilted her face upwards and kissed her, the apartment door clamping shut. She tasted of sadness and remorse and loneliness, and it wasn't how I expected. Tears leaked out of her eyes and dripped onto my cheek, but that was OK. We broke apart silently, but then: "I'm over you now, Freddie. Thanks for being a friend."

I walked into my house. Mum was bent over my phone, reading the lovey-dovey messages angrily. "You're dating Sam?" she angrily shrieked, the phone slipping out of her grasp. I grabbed it. "Yeah, because she's nice, and cool," I said, defiant for my girl. "I'm not allowing that!" Mum crowed. "You're grounded for three months. Oh Freddie, I couldn't stand for you to get in a fight with her about who pays the restaurant bill." She tried to tug me into my room, but I pulled back. "Mum! I've got a date with Sam at the Cheesecake Warehouse!" "No you haven't, now get into your room and do your homework," Mum shook her head, lugging me into my room. "Mum, I'm dating Puckett, so deal with it!" She didn't look like she wanted to deal with it, her eyes filling with tears. "No! I've told you, I've told you: _Blonde, violet girl makes mommy want to hurl. _She has no manners. Now, I want you to make me this peacock jigsaw." Mum popped a jigsaw on my lap, half-finished. "I'm going to put it in a frame in our kitchen."

She turned, grabbed my phone and exited the room. I heard a whimper and then the door locking. I was used to this. When I wore open-toed shoes or no belt, she'd freak and lock me in my room without my phone and only with my homework, laptop and a puzzle. It was basically a weekly basis, nowadays. How could I contact Sam? I logged onto Skype on my laptop and requested Sam's face for chat. She accepted, and my laptop filled up with her angel's face.

"I can't come to the date, my Mum's freaking," I groaned. Sam frowned, tucking some hair behind her ear. "But I've washed my hair and everything!" she muttered. "Just sneak out the window." "It's two stories high!" I objected strongly, and Sam rolled her eyes in despair. "Just make your way over the window sills and clamber down them, and then jump in the garbage bin or a flowerbed or something," Sam shrugged. I nodded, even though I'd come out scruffy. "Bye, bye, Blondie," I grinned. Sam tossed her hair, stuck her tongue out, ended the chat with a smile. I snapped my laptop shut and opened up my window. I felt so high up, but I could see the garbage bin, and also there was some fire emergency stairs leading down. Sadly, half of it had broken off so I'd have to jump from there. I clambered uneasily out of my window and up onto the emergency stairs. The black paint from the bars rubbed over my fingers, and the staircase creaked. Shakily, I made my way down the stairs, each creak shuddering my heart. Panic roared inside me as I heard an astonishing screech from the metal. I was almost near the broken bit, and suddenly the ground beneath me gave way. I screamed, grabbing the bar of the stairs. I watched as quarter of the stairs fluttered to the ground like a butterfly of death. I breathed heavily. I was so high up! I tried to hoist myself up onto the stairs again but I failed, dangling on the bar like a bauble on a tree. I screamed again. My heart hurt now, and my palms were getting sweaty.

_Be a man, be a man, be a man, be a man._

_For Sam._

I clung to the bar and tried to haul myself up onto it, but it wouldn't work. There was a garbage bin below me to the left, and a gang of hobos directly below me, and a fern bed beside them. "I am a man!" I screamed to myself. Like a trapeze artist, I swung forward and backwards and then let go completely of the bar, whirling away to obsidian. My heart caught up in my throat and I screamed, because I was falling, falling, falling. The hobos gawped at me, but I couldn't see them because all around me was black, black night, like a raven, like a blackbird. I threw my arms round myself, squeezing my eyes closed, screaming, shouting. _I am a man. _I opened my eyes wide and saw the blue sky, scruffy hobos glaring at me, and all around me were ferns. My back ached, but I struggled to get up and dragged myself to the Cheesecake Warehouse, for Sam.


	6. Chapter 6: iMake Sam Happy

THE SMOOTHIE KISS

"At last!" grinned Sam as I hobbled into the restaurant. She was looking cute in a turquoise flower-print minidress and ice-blue sandals, her blonde cape of hair fluttering behind her. Very much un-Sam-like. "You look like you've just come through a hedge," Sam laughed, pulling out a torn fern from my hair. "Long story," I chuckled, rolling my shoulders back and forth to ease the pain. I took a seat next to Sam, whose cheesecake was already half-eaten. I ordered a bowl of salad, and a huge slice of cherry pie for afters. "You're Mum freaked, then?" Sam asked, snaffling one of my tomatoes. "Yeah. Seriously," I nodded, frowning to myself. "She locked me in my room, took my mobile away. I had to climb out of the window and down the emergency staircase, and then it gave way under me and I had to grab onto the bars and I was practically screaming. But I don't scream," I bluffed. Sam smiled sweetly at me, then before I knew it her delicate fingers tweezed my ear and the pain was so shocking it sent a jolt right through me, and then I screeched. "You don't say?" she laughed, kissing my cheek. "OK, so now Carly's cool – we've mastered one 'obstacle'. Your mommy's the next one in line," Sam laughed. She threw her arms round herself. "It's the first day of winter, today," Sam reminded me as she impaled some of her cheesecake. "No snow, though." "It's actually quite sunny," I remarked, scoffing my salad. Sam grabbed two tomatoes and juggled them, laughing, before throwing them into her mouth.

"I've always wanted snow," Sam said, a frown shadowing her face. Her dark blue eyes misted over with something a little like clouds, and her lips puckered. The defiant fiery girl turned dreamy, sad, subtle and gentle. More than ever now, Sam Puckett looked like an angel. She always had done, but one of the angels I could imagine that haunted people, laughingly stealing their sweets on Halloween, the sort of angel who teased the devil and played with his fire, played her music so loud that angels would transport themselves to Hell to be rid of the noise, the sort of girl who had skulls embroidered all over her willowy angel's robe and whose huge feathered wings were a sooty black. But now Sam reminded me of the sort of angel who did sat all day in a little dreamy puff of cloud, delicately licking a tall, twirly ice cream from a crystal glass, the sort of angel who always smelt of candyfloss and always had a confectionary bag to sprinkle sweets down onto children's beds on earth.

"Snow's cool," I nodded, smiling. She didn't meet my gaze, her eyes wandering up to the ceiling. "English people get snow. All the time. I've never even felt a snowdrop melt on my tongue. Sad," Sam sighed. "Every Christmas, I only got a few things. A flower hair band, a lip-gloss, ballet-pink nail polish. Stuff I didn't want. Melanie, she got a posh laptop and a big PearPad and a ticket for six free horse-riding lessons or something. I didn't want presents, just snow. But bad girls don't get presents," Sam's lip quivered and she looked like she was about to cry. My hand found hers under the table and one single tear slipped over her face, and then it was gone, and so was the dreamy, soppy face that masked her own. "Mum's going to Turkey for Christmas, with Melanie. Mum's getting some diamante tattoo on her skin and Melanie wants this one-of-a-kind lip-gloss there, so I'm spending Christmas alone. Fat chance Carly will want me with her," Sam groaned. I smiled, a light bulb flashing over my head. "You can spend New Year's and Christmas at my house," I decided. "You're Mum won't let me," Sam shook head. "She will."

"I won't!" Mum screeched. "No! _Blonde, violent girl makes mommy want to hurl! _Freddie! She'd eat the whole turkey and burn the Christmas tree!" "Please, Mum. Sam just wants Christmas! She's never had nice presents, nice food, nice past-times! Can't we just help her out a little?" I pleaded. Mum frowned, looking frustrated. Finally, she answered: "Fine, yes. But no hurting my furniture!" Mum sighed. "Now help me make this peacock jigsaw. I know you snuck out, and I'm very disappointed. You could've gotten yourself killed!" I decided not mention that I almost did.

"Awesome, Freddie! You're awesome!" shrieked Sam when I told her. It was starting to get sort of cold now, the leaves fluttering from the trees like golden butterflies. Sam was wearing grey jeans and a black t-shirt, underneath a checked shirt and a beige thin coat. Her feet were protected by muddy Converse. Her PearPod was in her pocket, the piggy ear buds dangling round her neck. Her face lit up and made my heart smile. She threw her arms round me and kissed me happily, something that made my heart want to burst with gladness. We stopped kissing and hugged for ages, and I swear something wet slid off Sam's face. Let's hope it wasn't drool.


End file.
